That '70s Show (TV Series 1998–2006) Poster


Don Stark: Bob Pinciotti



  • Bob Pinciotti : [Bob has come over to the Foremans place after he cut down a tree that almost fell on Red]  Red, I'm so sorry. It was an accident.

    Red Forman : [Red's acting nice]  I thought I never say this. I'm glad you're my friend.

    [hugs Bob] 

    Bob Pinciotti : Red, I thought I'd never say this, you smell nice.

  • Bob Pinciotti : You know Red, that hurts.

    Red Forman : So does a swift kick in the ass.

    Bob Pinciotti : You know, Red, a kick in the ass isn't the solution to everything.

    Red Forman : I'm afraid I'm gonna have to disagree with that, Bob.

  • Bob Pinciotti : uh-heh

    Red Forman : OK, Bob, What is it?

    Bob Pinciotti : I'm just curious. What's the word on that Hyde kid?

    Red Forman : Steven? He's a little rebellious, just needs some direction.

    Bob Pinciotti : Apparently he's getting it, Red. I kind of walked into your living room and he and Kitty were in some sort of provocative embrace. I think he's putting the moves on your wife.

    Red Forman : Ooh my God. Now I've gotta kill him. Get your deer rifle, Bob.

    Bob Pinciotti : H... Hold on Red. I... I... I could have been mistaken.

    Red Forman : You know what you saw. Get the damn gun.

  • Bob Pinciotti : I didn't ask for a drink.

    Fez : Well, I didn't ask to be born in a field.

  • [Midge left Bob] 

    Bob Pinciotti : I don't get it. She didn't give me any sign, any warning.

    Donna Pinciotti : Dad, she kept saying "I'm unhappy and I'm going to leave".

    Bob Pinciotti : Donna, that's just something married people say.

  • Red Forman : [to Eric]  This is the worst thing you've ever done.

    Bob Pinciotti : [to Donna]  You too.

    Red Forman : You're gonna drive Donna home, and then you're gonna wait for me. That's an order.

    Bob Pinciotti : Ditto... Aww, come here. I can't stay mad at you with that cute face.

    [hugs her; Eric looks at Red with open arms] 

    Red Forman : Get your ugly ass in the car.

  • [Bob is having a ridiculously festive sale at his store] 

    Bob Pinciotti : What are you, ashamed of me?

    Donna Pinciotti : Well, look around, dad.

    Bob Pinciotti : Oh, I get it. But, let me tell you something. You see a clown, I see you in college. You see your dad dressed as a ringmaster, I see you in grad school. You see a monkey in a tutu... Well that just makes me laugh.

  • Midge Pinciotti : The unexamined self is the unfulfilled self.

    Bob Pinciotti : What do you mean? You don't feel fulfilled? Why don't you feel fulfilled? I pay the bills. I put a roof over your head. I take care of you.

    Midge Pinciotti : I know, Bob. But, what do I do?

    Bob Pinciotti : Well, you fill out that sweater real nice.

  • Midge Pinciotti : Look, Bob, even the English language is sexist. Why is it mailman and not mailwoman?

    Bob Pinciotti : Yeah. And, why is it mail? It should be female.

    Midge Pinciotti : Now you're thinking.

    Bob Pinciotti : No, I'm not. I'm just pointing out how stupid it is.

    Midge Pinciotti : You know what, Bob? You're one of them.

    [storms out] 

    Bob Pinciotti : My wife is a maniac... Sorry, a womaniac.

  • Bob Pinciotti : You're my best friend!

    Red : No I'm not!

  • Eric : Hey, dad, um, I was wondering if you could show me, like, a few fighting moves.

    Red : Who you planning to fight?

    Eric : David Milbank.

    Bob Pinciotti : David Milbank? He's got scoliosis and asthma.


    Bob Pinciotti : You could take him.

    Red : Oh, come on now, Eric. Why don't you, uh, beat up Kelso? I don't work for his dad.

    Eric : He's making a move on Donna.

    Bob Pinciotti : Oh, no. No. No. Donna's not going near that pretzel boy! No. No. You gotta nip this in the bud, Eric.

    Red : All right. All right. The bridge of the nose is very vulnerable.

    Bob Pinciotti : Oh. Oh! And hit him with a banjo!

    Red : [pauses and stares at Bob]  A banjo, Bob?

    Bob Pinciotti : What? I'm helping!

    Red : Where's he gonna get a banjo?

    Bob Pinciotti : I don't know! But I saw a guy get hit with a banjo once, and he went down.

    Red : [pauses and stares at Bob again]  Hitting a guy with a banjo, is dirty.

    [to Eric] 

    Red : You wanna knee him in the groin.

    Bob Pinciotti : You can hit him in the groin with a banjo.

  • Bob Pinciotti : Now be a good girl and sneak out some of them Jordan almonds for Daddy, okay?

    Donna Pinciotti : No Dad, those are for the feminists!

  • Bob Pinciotti : [at Thanksgiving dinner, Bob is reading out what someone wrote they're thankful for]  I think I got Red's. The only words I can say are "Eric", "little" and a word that starts with mother.

    Kitty Forman : Oh... mother. That sounds nice.

    Bob Pinciotti : It's a hard left after.

  • Red Forman : Bob, that's my stuff. You put the hell back my stuff.

    Bob Pinciotti : Sorry, Red, it was in my part of the garage.

    Kitty Forman : What's he talking about?

    Red Forman : Kitty, let me talk to him.

    Red Forman : Bob, get the hell out of my garage!

    Bob Pinciotti : [upset]  Fine!

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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